By: Colonie Hughes, Co-founder & Executive Women’s Program Director
Many, many people live in a nerve-wracking, confusing, sad, desperate-but-hopeful situation: being the loved one of someone in recovery. It can feel as though there’s very little you can do. But as Jesus followers…
We can pray.
We know that our Heavenly Father hears our prayers. We know “the earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results” (James 5:16). We know prayer changes things.
But how do we pray for them? What do we say? What do they need? Here are five ways to pray for your loved one in recovery.
Pray the “Serenity Prayer.”
A prayer that is already written out or familiar can help take the pressure off when it comes to finding the right words. The heart behind the well-known Serenity Prayer is a good one. It says:
“God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and
Wisdom to know the difference.”
For both addicts and their loved ones, so much of the recovery process is going to require serene acceptance, courageous action, and wise discernment. If you’re having trouble trusting that God will do what only He can do, I encourage you to take the Serenity Prayer to heart and make it your own. Then, pray it over your loved one as well.
Pray that God will help you see them how He sees them.
An addict’s behavior is always hurtful, and the addict’s loved ones are most commonly the object of that hurt. It’s so common for our view of our loved ones to become distorted by things that aren’t true.
We need God to reveal to us how He sees the addict.
Especially for those of us who have experienced repeated betrayal, manipulation, gaslighting and harm at the hand of our loved ones, we need a new and more truthful view of them.
He calls them loved. He calls them clean. He calls them righteous. He calls them holy. He calls them free.
He calls them to Himself.
Pray that God will show you how He sees them and pray that your loved one will see this as well.
Pray that the addict will find true freedom.
Paul tells us in Galatians 5, “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” True freedom includes getting free and staying free.
True freedom requires un-learning many ingrained behaviors and life-defeating beliefs, exchanging them for re-learning life-giving behaviors and truth-filled beliefs.
It’s all very difficult. We have a very real Enemy who wants nothing more than to keep God’s beloved sons and daughters bound in chains. The fight for true freedom is a very real war.
Pray that your loved one will fight to find freedom’s victory.
Pray for steadfastness in the recovery process.
Very few people are inclined to appreciate process over destination, yet life and personal growth are exponentially more of a journey. Journeys and processes, even the best-laid plans, have turns and stalls and bumps in the road.
Journeys require steadfastness.
Our approach at 7 Springs Ministries incorporates students into a therapeutic community. Our students generally stay in this residential program for one year. A year can feel like a long time. Many want to give up in their first days with us. Many want to quit right before crossing the finish line.
A year-long program requires steadfastness.
The road to recovery has many challenges, including resistance to many temptations. It’s not enough to say “no” just once. Freedom must be chosen over and over again, step after step, mile after mile. Recovery is a day-at-a-time marathon.
And marathons require steadfastness.
Pray for restoration.
Your loved one likely has suffered loss due to their addiction and addictive behaviors. Much loss takes the form of brokenness: broken relationships, broken dreams, broken homes, broken hearts.
But our God is a Redeemer and Restorer of all things. Behold, He is making all things new (Revelation 21:5)!
Pray that God brings restoration to your loved one’s life, that He heals what has been broken, that He replaces what has been stolen, that He redeems what the Enemy had intended for destruction, and that He restores what had once been considered lost!
And finally, this prayer has the potential to be even the most powerful: Pray that, if it’s His will, your loved one would find redemption and restoration through reinstatement.
I hope these five ways to pray give you encouragement and inspiration. Take heart, friends! Stand on God’s promises, brothers and sisters!
And “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
