Through my recovery, I spent time looking at where I came from and reflecting on where I stand today with God by my side. I never want to go back. If God can rescue me from addiction, there’s nothing he can’t do!
My story begins in 2007 when my 7-week-old son went into cardiac arrest. I watched him fight for his life and lose his battle. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to deal with. In 2008, I was blessed with another son. I never imagined that God would allow me to relive my worst fear, but at 3 months old, he passed away from SIDs.
I started doubting everything—my faith and God. How could a loving Father keep giving me children just to take them back? I became jealous and bitter toward God and others. My mother was always there to encourage me and push me through one more day, but on January 19, 2017, I got the call that my dad couldn’t wake her up. That changed my life forever.
I couldn’t accept that my mother was gone. She wasn’t just my mother but also my best friend. I needed her to be here for me. Even though I knew she was free from pain and health problems, all I could think about was myself.
In 2018 I was introduced to meth, and it led me down a path I never intended for myself. It caused so much hurt and pain to my children, who needed me to be there for them. I realized the severity of the problem when my kids told me, “Mom, you say you miss the babies, yet you still have us and act as if we died, too.” They said they wanted nothing to do with me until I got some help, and they told me not to contact them.
That night I hit my knees and cried out to God to help me. The next morning, God answered my prayers by sending four county police officers to arrest me, and I went to jail. I made a promise to myself and my dad that if God allowed me to get into rehab, I would stick it out, no matter how hard it got.
I was at a point in my life where I felt hopeless and unworthy. I came to 7 Springs Ministries’ recovery program, and all I could see were my failures as a mother since I had lost all rights to my children. I started reading my Bible and decided to give everything over to God. I asked him into my heart, he revived my faith and I learned how to trust him with the impossible.
Many people give up before they see results, but I knew I had to keep going. During my recovery, God opened my eyes to so much. He showed me that when you open your heart to him, anything is possible. I am blessed to say he has restored my children back into my life, which was something no one believed could be done.
We all face good and bad things in life—we just have to be strong enough to face them the right way and not give up. 7 Springs made recovery possible for me, and I will be forever grateful to everyone there. God has given me another chance at life, and if he did it for me, he can do the impossible for you, too.